Why are there so many rules ? Where should the blame lie ? How could we change this ?

It came up in conversation the other day, when with friends, “Why are there so many rules out there ?  And why would that rule be added, if no one would do such a thing ?” .  I noticed select folks, engaged in the conversation, were expressing agitation !

Being a rule oriented type person myself, I then asked those at the table, if they were disturbed because they find themselves paying a price because of rules they consider crazy, or was it because, they follow every rules, and to them, often becomes just too much ?  Both type folks were in the conversation.

For the most part, rules are for consistency, accountability, legal protection, fairness, equality, trust, etc.  However, my true take on why there’s rules ?  Rules were developed for those folks who claim a rule didn’t say that (find a loop in the wording) and for those who believe, such rules do not pertain to “them” !   Oh, and I’ve heard others that think, “oh, the rule was too trivial” !

Let’s take something simple.  Does your job expect you to be on time and begin work at 8am ?  Do you show up 7:45am, 8am, or late ?   If you show up at 8am and unable to start work that instant, without being flustered, or show up for work late each day, these rules are only written because of you !  However, natural early folks, have to listen to the rule that was formed for those who “expect all to except” their reasoning for not being prepared to work at 8am.

Here’s another.  Your bill is due Oct 30 (Sunday).  Do you pay a week in advance, pay the Friday prior, or discover on Sunday, it’s the 30th, and complain it’s the computers fault for making the bill due on a Sunday, or do you just naturally wait till it’s late ?  Or do you call and ask for more time ? Again, these rules are for these late folks.  

Or maybe you overdraw your account at the bank.  And in turn, see the bank as the one at fault. 

Or maybe you have an appointment at 5pm, and you show up 5:05.  You thinks, “How can 5 minutes matter ? Or there’s no rule that says I have to be on time.”  What about the common courtesy rule ?  And you’re right, you don’t have to follow common courtesy if you don’t want to !


Here’s some examples of situations, where folks thought the rule didn't apply to them: 

• Person decided to sell their car.  Before selling, decided to take insurance off, however has not turned in their tags to DMV.  Many would say, ‘who would do that’?  Well people do.  And there is a rule.  If you are caught doing this, there is a fine. 
• Claiming you live in a state where you don’t.  Example, Fla has an “exempt” for those who live in Fla full time and are not snow birds.  Fla law says, if you file for this exempt, you must change your driver’s license within 30 days.  Also, when filing taxes, you should be noting your Fla address. 
There is a fine if you fail to do these two processes, yet file this Fla exempt.


No matter the rule that is broken, rules are rules.  They are made for me, you, and everyone else.
If you are aware of the rule, and you just want to see if you can get by without following, that’s one thing.  You in turn know, if you break and you are caught, you are due the price that must be paid.

However, if you think in your mind, it’s the “rule makers fault”, then most possibly, you are part of the reason the rules exist in the first place !  Rules are not going away.  There will just be more and more, as folks continue to break them !

 

Folks who find themselves, constantly paying the price, or staying stress out over all the things that keep happening, You can choose to change !  It’s as simples as ...

• Becoming more aware of the rules !
• Consider the value of common courtesy rules !
• Choose to notice who’s affected by you not following rules !
• Notice folks around you who follow the rules !

Or keep your life on a constant roller coaster.  And if not yours, everyone else around you.  That’s right !  Those who choose to break rules, affect others.  Maybe it’s your kids, your boss, your parents, your friends !  Have you noticed their stress ?  Their hidden anger ?

If you want change, truly consider reaching out to help with a "Life Coach" !

 

For folks who are rule oriented, my suggestion to you:

• Feel empathy, not sympathy, for folks who have yet learned to follow the rules !
• If you want to place blame for rules, be sure to remember where the true blame belongs !
• Continue to be a good example by following rules !
• Don’t give into changing rules just because someone doesn’t want to follow them; you can only help another by not helping to enable them.
• Learn to be as good as your word and enforce rules the first time, without warning.

Remember, you “can’t change” folks !  People will continue to break rules and rules will continue to build in our lives.  However,  you can help yourself with the stress others are putting on “you” !  You can begin with changing YOU !  Enforce rules !  Expect common courtesy !  You deserve it !  And let those who don’t want to follow, continue to pay the price, by themselves !  Stop bailing folks out !  Stop enabling folks !  And if there’s no price, come up with one.  Such as leaving at 5:01.

Ending your Affair

Parting in an affair can be difficult on both parties and even those who are not in the picture directly.  Making a decisions and preparing to move forward can be a very healthy decision, especially if it is bringing you stress or that gloomy feeling !  Breaking up can be that needed key in beginning to get your life back to a more relaxing order.

Knowing some of what you want, is most definitely, part of the process to getting there !  And writing down your thoughts and ideas will help in your healing process towards a healthier life !

Begin with …

·         What would the happy you look like ?

·         Be doing with your life ? 

·         And who is in your happy picture ?

 

Consider purchasing hypnosis type downloads such as these:

·         http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems/end-affair

·         http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems/stay-faithful

 

Next for your journal …

·         Have you told this person how you feel ?  About wanting to end it ? 

·         If you have not expressed this or not ready to express, what is holding you back ?

·         “Why” do you want this affair to end ? Is it no longer giving you the same satisfaction ? 

·         Are you leaving for you ?  Your marriage ?

·         If you are back and forth with this decision, you may want to make a list of the pros and cons of this relationship, and “why” you like or dislike anything you wrote down.

·         Also, “why” did you turn to this relationship in the first place ? Think back to remember, what was going on or not going on in your life, during that time ?

·         If you are serious about moving forward with this idea, “when” would you like to see this take place ? Be final ?  Tell me why you have chosen this time frame ?

 

 

TIPS.  When it is time.  Don’t start something you’re not going to “stand behind” !

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=u+tube+why+break+up+an+affair&qpvt=u+tube+why+break+up+an+affair&form=VDRE&first=1#view=detail&mid=772BF86E5529E4B1CF29772BF86E5529E4B1CF29

·         Think about this person’s temperament.  Will this be smooth or could it be hostile ?

·          It is often very wise, to meet in public, to do so.  So that you can say what you need to and leave safely.  A lesser chance of a scene.  Do not allow this person to convince you differently.  Do not plan that ‘one last time’ get together !

·         Keep the conversation short.  Don’t go into why you have made this decision or why you even stayed as long as you did.  The simpler and cleaner the better.

·         Do not give the person any inclination you will be back.  Make it final.

·         Be nice.  Don’t say hurtful words.  You want to walk away feeling comfortable and less stressed for yourself.  Be firm but soft in the heart.  You don’t want this person taking any revenge.

·         If you have things you need to get off your chest, you would be better off writing a letter, prior to this day, and say all you want and then throw it away before meeting.  Let it go.  Close your eyes.  Picture putting the letter in a bag.  Put the bag in the basked of a hot air balloon and watch it float away till gone !

·         You may truly want to change your cell phone number, your email address.  If you have given them any passwords for anything, change these.  Delete their information from anywhere you may have it written down.

·         Now immediately upon breaking it off, envision a “stop sign” every time this person’s name comes to thought.  You can practice by closing your eyes and visioning the stop sign.

 

 

Withdrawals from this relationship can happen.  You could feel a sense of loss, insecurity, and even at times, confusion.  So, our best advice is to talk about these feelings with a coach, to help you move beyond this experience.  Simply having someone to confide in helps people cope with any possible emotional pain.

Being prepared after the breakup.  

Affair Withdrawals:  http://www.emotionalaffair.org/getting-over-an-affair-dealing-with-affair-withdrawal/

Moving forward after your affair:  http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/for-cheaters-only-how-to-get-over-your-affair-1279175.html

 

Now … Truly consider adding a “coach” to your life !

 

Hypnosis Gastric Bypass. Can Lynchburg make National News for a healthier city !

Rather than the true surgery of Gastric Bypass, the Hypnosis Gastric Bypass program not only has produced remarkable results, it’s a money savings alternative !  This process has been huge in the UK for several years !  And over a year and a half ago, the first US participants to be shown on US TV was on the DR OZ show !

Last year, Bill Weir broadcasted on ABC News, that hypnosis has become a more accepted form of behavior therapy, such as weight loss.  He reported to viewers, $35,000 for Gastric Bypass surgery, versus $1200 for Hypnosis Gastric Bypass *.  And he described the hypnosis approach as, “Tricking the mind into shrinking the body”.  (*depending on where you live; could cost up to $5,000).

Even after the first hypnosis session you’ll be talking about how your food portions have decreased !  Instead of engulfing a full dinner when you’re out, you’ll learn to bring home at least half or  2/3 of your dinner and spreading leftovers to 1-2 more meals !  Besides a healthier body, there’s FOOD COST SAVINGS !

 

It’s time for Lynchburg to make our own National News !  Let’s get Lynchburg on the map for having the most folks working towards a more healthier life ! 

Instead of my regular Hypnosis Gastric Bypass cost at $ 300 x 3 sessions … Through February 2014, Lynchburg folks who TRULY want such weight loss help, I want to help for only $ 119* x 3 sessions.  (see lower cost opportunity below)

 

To be most effective, the Hypnosis Gastric Bypass process takes a minimum of 3 sessions.  The first session is almost 2 hours; includes educational insight to hypnosis and weight loss, along with your input and a relaxing hypnosis session.  The second session may extend a little over an hour, as we talk about preparing your cabinets/refrigerator with healthier type foods; along with discussing specific food consumption before your hypnosis surgery, just like folks having real surgery; and a relaxing hypnosis session and time to share your last week experiences.  Session three is about an hour, to include your hypnosis surgery.   It’s exciting !  

And after session three, you have your basis !  Emailing will be provided for coaching support, for 30 days after your 3^rd session.  And for those who want advance reinforcement or other areas related to weight loss, additional sessions available for only $99* each. 

 

 

WHAT A BETTER WAY TO REACH THIS LYNCHBURG GOAL FASTER THAN TO SAVE MORE !  Encouraging friends and family to join YOU in becoming healthier !  Bring along your own support team !

For a group of 3-9**, cost only $ 99* X 3.

10-19***, only $ 89* X 3.

20-29***, only $ 79* X 3.

30+***, only $ 69* X 3.

A different pricing structure can be formed for group leaders who would rather have theirs complimentary.  Or maybe arrange for a FUNDRAISER program !

 

Let’s get healthier, beginning today !  Call TODAY and schedule your sessions ! 
 Leave message, when I can return your call.
434-473-7470
Certified Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Teacher, Vivian M Webb, CPLC, C.Ht 

 

*For this cost, meeting location must be inside the city of Lynchburg limits; outside of Lynchburg will incur an additional mileage rate.   For continued reinforcement through and after our 3 sessions, I will also highly suggest you purchase a MP3 recording on Amazon for $5 versus higher cost CD’s. 

** Lynchburg Library has a room for $10 each session, which can hold up to 9 + me.

*** Elks lodge has a room that holds up to 75 (est $75 each session ?)

USAToday Coaching Trend article. Individuals and Corporations waking up to the value of Harmony Home Life to Work

There has been a tremendous increase, in just the last few years, with individuals and corporations seeking the guidance of a Life Coach.  The relationship between a higher harmony in one’s personal life concludes a definite effect on job performance, attendance, work relations and sociability, and satisfaction.   

Focusing to improve home life situations, whether it’s personal self-esteem, relationships, balancing responsibilities and finances, improving organizational skills, or getting out of a rut, is the new trend.   Recognizing the value in taking a pro-active stand versus past choices of “just settling”.

Folks who aggressively choose to purse valuable guidance are portraying the needed competence and strength towards reaching those desired choices for their life.  in life.   In article by Karen S. Peterson of USToday, Life Coach Laura Berman Fortgang expresses, “They are everyday, normal people who have their lives together. They realize the value of having somebody to help them think outside the box."

The article also reminds readers, that the past concept to psychologically diagnosis first, reach into your painful past first, is no longer the needed approach.  Nor does one need to receive services in person. Coaching allows a person to stay in the comfort of their home or office and speak with a Coach by telephone or by way of email communication.

Coach Patrick Williams shares the number of men receiving coaching versus women: 60-40.  It easy to understand why men would prefer this type approach versus traditional therapeutic sessions.  And why Life Coach, Martha Beck (seen on and write a column for the Oprah Winfrey Show/Magazines) expresses, “It’s OK to see a Coach and not OK to see a therapist”.

Williams also states that “teens are becoming more active with Life Coaches", to include Parent and Family Coaching.  What better way to reach into our country’s future than through our teens.  We’re starting them off early with college courses in our high schools, WHY NOT provide pre-guidance in personal life ? Pre-education as our future parents ?  Even more important, if home life affects work, what about schooling ?

When I first think of Parent Coaching, I actually think about the “parents of our current teens”.  Not only for the needed support and mentoring through “the teen years”, but in reaching for guidance with helping a teen. 

Coaching is about deriving specific goals, actually set by the individual and guided by the coach.  The individual then works towards the goals with different steps provided by the coach, with assistance from the individual.  The coach establishes deadlines.  The success of a coaching program requires responsibility and accountability from the individual. The coach is the motivator who cheers the individual forward !    

Beck’s choice words include, “enhancing” life, “balancing” and "integrating one's life”.  Include “asking extensive specific questions”, goal setting, “homework”, “journaling”, and “an action plan”.  Fortgang describes Life Coaching as "action-oriented, solution-oriented; concentrates on forward motion, not looking at the past.”

Williams says Life Coaching will "change the face of psychotherapy, helping people live a better life without the stigma of needing a diagnosis or a visit to a psychotherapist they don't want or need."

Williams also states in the article, coaching is about “discovering and creating”, not “healing and uncovering”.  Therefore, if a person is in need of more than a motivator, mentor, support and drive system, and instead, is more troubled, angered, or has other deeply rooted issues, it’s better for the individual to contact a mental health expert. 

Individuals can expect several months in reaching goals, with weekly phone sessions of ½ hour to an hour.  Also available is the email approach.  The article states to expect cost to vary from $300 an hour to $350-$600 a month.  Fees are not paid by health insurance.  Corporations often provide such services to their employees or hire a full time Life Coach to be on premise.

My fees are actually somewhat lower.  Coaching by phone as low as $ 89 an hour; by either committing to 9 sessions or by combining phone coaching with monthly email coaching.  Unlimited monthly emailing is $ 399 (currently excepting only 4 more clients). Payment is by Paypal with only a 48 hour prior payment for the next session.  A more costly and timely approach is meeting in person.  However, in person Hypnosis sessions are available at the same available hourly cost (one session $ 139 or $119x3) when meeting within the city limits of Lynchburg.

 

There are many topics available in coaching.  Besides those mentioned in paragraph two above and Parent Coaching, a few others include: forgoing relationships, entering separation or divorce, developing new skills and changing careers, and moving forward after victimization.  Though these topics may sound negative, these issues are not only real, an individual can take a more positive and direct approach towards reducing the enhances stress it can add to ones life.

“What if”, all you had to do was LISTEN TO MUSIC to gain more smarts ? Actually improve skills ? Get over fears ? Learn to love exercise or house cleaning ?

“What if”, all you had to do was LISTEN TO MUSIC and you could develop or improve specific skills, fulfill your ambitions or talents, stop procrastination, let go of personal fears or hang-ups, build relations, learn to love exercising or stop dreading cleaning house, just to name a few ?  Except for when driving, you could listen to this music by day, by night, or maybe even your boss would allow you to play at your desk ?  What if just playing music when the family was a home, had a valuable effects on others ?

What if there was a change of learning how to play the piano, without touching the keyboard till the night of your performance ?  See at bottom, videos I watched last night.

 

Guide-to-self-help-techniques.com believes Music is the answer !  Music can make you smarter and more !  Music has always been powerful; it usually improves our moods.  “Music also helps heal you. Studies have shown that listening to music widens your blood vessels. This can lower your blood pressure. Music can also help release chemicals that protect your heart.  Music can relax you in seconds...or energize you instantly. It can soothe your soul.  It can make you cry. It can even trigger distant memories ... and yes, it can also make you smarter.”

“Especially classical music due to its mathematical complexity. Some studies have shown that listening to Mozart improves your IQ.” 

However, Guide-to-self-helpp-techniques believes, not just any music.  Music with cutting-edge brainwave entrainment (BWE).  Wiki states, “It’s any practice that aims to cause brainwave frequencies to fall into step with a periodic stimulus having a frequency corresponding to the intended brain-state usually attempted with the use of specialized software.  Such a stimulus is often aural, as in the case of binaural or monaural beats and isochronic tones, or else visual, as with a dreamachine, a combination of the two with a mind machine, or even electromagnetic radiation”.

Jeff's Gignac, hypnosis and NLP expert, is one of the leading brainwave entrainment (BWE) engineers in the world.  He states, most BWE audios are boring to listen to.  In 2010, he began mixing BWE with beautiful music, such as piano, dance, chillout, classical, acoustic guitar etc, calling it Super Mind Music.

According to guide-to-self-help-techniques.com, subliminal tapes that are goal-related are allegedly more effective because of the user's need to succeed at the chosen goal.  According to guide-to-self-help-techniques.com, subliminal tapes must be used consistently and for at least three months for results to be seen, and results will vary among users.  Other sources claim results can be notices within 2 weeks.

 

Amazon has available .99 audios at estimate 59 minutes each in MP3 downloads and provide a complimentary “Cloud Player”.  586 topics to choose from (see link to list below).  For CD’s, visit your local book store and see what is available for order.

 

 

What do you have to loose if it doesn't work ?  What's wrong with a little soft relaxing music to your life ?  What's .99cents ?   What's 2 weeks ?  TV advertisement uses this on us every day !  Why not it be for the topic YOU want to accomplish !

 

Just last night, I was watching a video with Darren Brown.  I believe it may be a show called “Trick or Treat”.  Participant volunteers and picks a card.  The 2 shows I saw, the participant had picked the “Treat” card.  After getting to know the woman a little, he learned, that years back, she had tried to learn the piano.  Through hypnosis and such BWE tapes, she learned to play the piano in a week, without ever touching the keyboard.  Darren told her to trust him.  She dressed up in her nice evening gown, and the night of the performance, walked right out on that stage and played a famous classical piece.  It was amazing !  (Darren Brown Part I video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sej8Moh-Uls; Part II video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlp6jIR0x14).

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/qid=1376169131/ref=sr_shvl_1-all?ie=UTF8&keywords=binaural%20beats%20brainwave%20subliminal%20systems&rh=k%3Abinaural%20beats%20brainwave%20subliminal%20systems%2Cn%3A163856011%2Cn%3A!624868011%2Cp_n_feature_browse-bin%3A625150011

Your mind is powerful. You have the potential to change beliefs, habits, and your life through your inner mind !

This is from Inner Talk.

How do you respond best ? Understand someone ? Are you visual, auditory, or a kinesthetic type person

How to you respond best to others or understand someone ... "Visually (Ex.  See it on paper)", by way of "Audio (Prefer to hear something rather than read about it)", or are you a "Kinesthetic (feeling/emotional type)" person ?

Do these example describe you correctly ?  Are you more than just one type ?
Believe it or not, when you are communication with others, it will work better for you in getting through and keeping the conversation calm, if you learn talk to them "in their language. 

So if they don't like to read, then for them to comprehend you better, it's better to talk with them, versus an email or letter.  If someone is asking you for some facts, and they are a visual person, they will understand better if you put it on paper.  And a kinesthetic person is looking for more emotion in the conversation; more empathy.

I found this on Conversational Hypnosis Critic

 

People who are more “visual”:

• The person is better organized.
• They are neater in their environment.
• They are well-groomed, deliberate and appearance oriented.
• They appear more orderly.
• They come off as soft-spoken.
• They focus their attention on details like spelling.
• They memorize information by seeing pictures.
• They are less distracted by noises.

 

People who are more “audio”

• An auditory person often talks to themselves.
• They are distracted by noises.
• Their lips move when they are thinking.
• They have the ability to repeat things quickly back to you.
• They have trouble with math and writing.
• They have the skill of spoken languages being easy to them.
• They are music lovers and learn better by hearing it.
• They memorize through the use of steps, procedures, and sequence.

 

Person who is more Kinesthetic:

These type are focused on emotions.

They like to talk about how they feel about something.
They respond to touch and hugging.
These types are often athletic and are into sports and outdoors activities.
A Kinesthetic person will move around and even walk while they are thinking about something.