You may know me, but you have no idea who I am !

Writing before Wednesday this week, because I saw this picture and it made me think of a topic, true to my own heart !

 

Why is it, that some of the closest people to you, do not really know you (yet often think they do) ?  I’m talking spouse/partner, family, relatives, friends, co-workers, your boss.

The short of it …

·         Many folks around us, are only interested in themselves !  What they have to say.  What’s going on in their lives.

·         Only hear what they want to hear !  Choose to judge, rather than comprehend/understand.

·         Often never ask you about you; or actually listen to your answer !

·         They’re so busy, they can hardly handle their own lives/traumas.

·         In their mind, think they know you !

·         Maybe select folks are listening too much to what others say about you (who also think they know you)

·         Or maybe, you do not share you (your thoughts and feelings)

 

Truly consider … If you hear your children, spouse/partner, your boss, or even a friend say, “You don’t get me”, or “you don’t listen to me” ... Understand, that’s how they “feel”, whether you think it’s true or not.   How a person feels or preceives is how it is to them !  And if this person is important to you, this is valuable info !

If you do not choose to STOP and take the time to listen, embrace the feelings, feel how they feel, give that person a chance, the situation will most definitely not change ! Only change you have, is in seeing it and feel it the way they do.  Compassion is important in any relationship. 

 

Now … If you are the one, who feels you are not really being listened to nor interpreted correct … It’s time for change !

Either learn a new approach … Whether it be calmer !  More direct !

If you can not approach them in person, consider writing a letter.  Possibly allow a non-biased person to read before sending.

Or just maybe, it’s time for new friends !  And consider spending less time with these folks who are bringing you down !  If it’s a spouse/partner, you can learn to add new appropriate activities to your life.  If it’s a boss, you can learn to just do your job correctly, and not provide more.

Cause it’s actually possible, there will be no change on the other person ! 

But remember, I’m not suggesting you develop an attitude !  You need to approach this with the idea of being happy !  Happy with choices !  Not anger, bitter, or grudges !  Just focusing more on you, and not, how you feel about them !

So get active and find new things to do !

In reality, only you can change !  You can’t change others, no matter how much you say or how upset you get !  So change you. 

 

Either ...

·         Take the time and learn how you can relate to this person; get to know them better; what makes them tick !

Or ... Especially if you learn, it's just "all about them" ...

·         Find new friends; get active; get happy with yourself and new surroundings !