Why are there so many rules ? Where should the blame lie ? How could we change this ?

It came up in conversation the other day, when with friends, “Why are there so many rules out there ?  And why would that rule be added, if no one would do such a thing ?” .  I noticed select folks, engaged in the conversation, were expressing agitation !

Being a rule oriented type person myself, I then asked those at the table, if they were disturbed because they find themselves paying a price because of rules they consider crazy, or was it because, they follow every rules, and to them, often becomes just too much ?  Both type folks were in the conversation.

For the most part, rules are for consistency, accountability, legal protection, fairness, equality, trust, etc.  However, my true take on why there’s rules ?  Rules were developed for those folks who claim a rule didn’t say that (find a loop in the wording) and for those who believe, such rules do not pertain to “them” !   Oh, and I’ve heard others that think, “oh, the rule was too trivial” !

Let’s take something simple.  Does your job expect you to be on time and begin work at 8am ?  Do you show up 7:45am, 8am, or late ?   If you show up at 8am and unable to start work that instant, without being flustered, or show up for work late each day, these rules are only written because of you !  However, natural early folks, have to listen to the rule that was formed for those who “expect all to except” their reasoning for not being prepared to work at 8am.

Here’s another.  Your bill is due Oct 30 (Sunday).  Do you pay a week in advance, pay the Friday prior, or discover on Sunday, it’s the 30th, and complain it’s the computers fault for making the bill due on a Sunday, or do you just naturally wait till it’s late ?  Or do you call and ask for more time ? Again, these rules are for these late folks.  

Or maybe you overdraw your account at the bank.  And in turn, see the bank as the one at fault. 

Or maybe you have an appointment at 5pm, and you show up 5:05.  You thinks, “How can 5 minutes matter ? Or there’s no rule that says I have to be on time.”  What about the common courtesy rule ?  And you’re right, you don’t have to follow common courtesy if you don’t want to !


Here’s some examples of situations, where folks thought the rule didn't apply to them: 

• Person decided to sell their car.  Before selling, decided to take insurance off, however has not turned in their tags to DMV.  Many would say, ‘who would do that’?  Well people do.  And there is a rule.  If you are caught doing this, there is a fine. 
• Claiming you live in a state where you don’t.  Example, Fla has an “exempt” for those who live in Fla full time and are not snow birds.  Fla law says, if you file for this exempt, you must change your driver’s license within 30 days.  Also, when filing taxes, you should be noting your Fla address. 
There is a fine if you fail to do these two processes, yet file this Fla exempt.


No matter the rule that is broken, rules are rules.  They are made for me, you, and everyone else.
If you are aware of the rule, and you just want to see if you can get by without following, that’s one thing.  You in turn know, if you break and you are caught, you are due the price that must be paid.

However, if you think in your mind, it’s the “rule makers fault”, then most possibly, you are part of the reason the rules exist in the first place !  Rules are not going away.  There will just be more and more, as folks continue to break them !

 

Folks who find themselves, constantly paying the price, or staying stress out over all the things that keep happening, You can choose to change !  It’s as simples as ...

• Becoming more aware of the rules !
• Consider the value of common courtesy rules !
• Choose to notice who’s affected by you not following rules !
• Notice folks around you who follow the rules !

Or keep your life on a constant roller coaster.  And if not yours, everyone else around you.  That’s right !  Those who choose to break rules, affect others.  Maybe it’s your kids, your boss, your parents, your friends !  Have you noticed their stress ?  Their hidden anger ?

If you want change, truly consider reaching out to help with a "Life Coach" !

 

For folks who are rule oriented, my suggestion to you:

• Feel empathy, not sympathy, for folks who have yet learned to follow the rules !
• If you want to place blame for rules, be sure to remember where the true blame belongs !
• Continue to be a good example by following rules !
• Don’t give into changing rules just because someone doesn’t want to follow them; you can only help another by not helping to enable them.
• Learn to be as good as your word and enforce rules the first time, without warning.

Remember, you “can’t change” folks !  People will continue to break rules and rules will continue to build in our lives.  However,  you can help yourself with the stress others are putting on “you” !  You can begin with changing YOU !  Enforce rules !  Expect common courtesy !  You deserve it !  And let those who don’t want to follow, continue to pay the price, by themselves !  Stop bailing folks out !  Stop enabling folks !  And if there’s no price, come up with one.  Such as leaving at 5:01.

Ending your Affair

Parting in an affair can be difficult on both parties and even those who are not in the picture directly.  Making a decisions and preparing to move forward can be a very healthy decision, especially if it is bringing you stress or that gloomy feeling !  Breaking up can be that needed key in beginning to get your life back to a more relaxing order.

Knowing some of what you want, is most definitely, part of the process to getting there !  And writing down your thoughts and ideas will help in your healing process towards a healthier life !

Begin with …

·         What would the happy you look like ?

·         Be doing with your life ? 

·         And who is in your happy picture ?

 

Consider purchasing hypnosis type downloads such as these:

·         http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems/end-affair

·         http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/relationship-problems/stay-faithful

 

Next for your journal …

·         Have you told this person how you feel ?  About wanting to end it ? 

·         If you have not expressed this or not ready to express, what is holding you back ?

·         “Why” do you want this affair to end ? Is it no longer giving you the same satisfaction ? 

·         Are you leaving for you ?  Your marriage ?

·         If you are back and forth with this decision, you may want to make a list of the pros and cons of this relationship, and “why” you like or dislike anything you wrote down.

·         Also, “why” did you turn to this relationship in the first place ? Think back to remember, what was going on or not going on in your life, during that time ?

·         If you are serious about moving forward with this idea, “when” would you like to see this take place ? Be final ?  Tell me why you have chosen this time frame ?

 

 

TIPS.  When it is time.  Don’t start something you’re not going to “stand behind” !

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=u+tube+why+break+up+an+affair&qpvt=u+tube+why+break+up+an+affair&form=VDRE&first=1#view=detail&mid=772BF86E5529E4B1CF29772BF86E5529E4B1CF29

·         Think about this person’s temperament.  Will this be smooth or could it be hostile ?

·          It is often very wise, to meet in public, to do so.  So that you can say what you need to and leave safely.  A lesser chance of a scene.  Do not allow this person to convince you differently.  Do not plan that ‘one last time’ get together !

·         Keep the conversation short.  Don’t go into why you have made this decision or why you even stayed as long as you did.  The simpler and cleaner the better.

·         Do not give the person any inclination you will be back.  Make it final.

·         Be nice.  Don’t say hurtful words.  You want to walk away feeling comfortable and less stressed for yourself.  Be firm but soft in the heart.  You don’t want this person taking any revenge.

·         If you have things you need to get off your chest, you would be better off writing a letter, prior to this day, and say all you want and then throw it away before meeting.  Let it go.  Close your eyes.  Picture putting the letter in a bag.  Put the bag in the basked of a hot air balloon and watch it float away till gone !

·         You may truly want to change your cell phone number, your email address.  If you have given them any passwords for anything, change these.  Delete their information from anywhere you may have it written down.

·         Now immediately upon breaking it off, envision a “stop sign” every time this person’s name comes to thought.  You can practice by closing your eyes and visioning the stop sign.

 

 

Withdrawals from this relationship can happen.  You could feel a sense of loss, insecurity, and even at times, confusion.  So, our best advice is to talk about these feelings with a coach, to help you move beyond this experience.  Simply having someone to confide in helps people cope with any possible emotional pain.

Being prepared after the breakup.  

Affair Withdrawals:  http://www.emotionalaffair.org/getting-over-an-affair-dealing-with-affair-withdrawal/

Moving forward after your affair:  http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/for-cheaters-only-how-to-get-over-your-affair-1279175.html

 

Now … Truly consider adding a “coach” to your life !