Unappreciative Folks in Your Life; Will They Ever Change ?

NOTE, Do NOT miss an earlier post today;  I was late in posting last weeks article, due to being at my folks and unable to turn on the "net" till today.

This article is not about helping to build your relationship with unappreciative folks; it’s more about how to change your situation !

 

Life has enough challenges, without having to feel like you are unappreciated;  especially when you know, you gave that task or person your all !  Sadly, you could give 110% or receive an A+ and some folks will either still find fault or something wrong.  

What can you do ?   
You ultimately need to seek to change your situation.

Well, if you wear your heart on your sleeve, the option of just laughing under your breath and shrugging your shoulders may not be an easy choice for you; it most certainly would NOT be for me.

My mother always believed, do NOT saying anything to anyone; keep it all to yourself.  I do NOT believe this;  nor do many a psychiatrist, counselor or coach.  Harboring feelings inside, can eventually blow and most likely, not in a healthy nor productive way !

If you’re self-employed, like I am, and it’s a customer we’re talking about, then you can easily just choose to let that customer go; our industry calls it,  “firing” them !   Luckily, I’ve never had a client suggest I hadn’t done the best job possible, however, I have had a couple of “way out there unreasonable request” by customers, with one threatening, if I didn’t get what they personally wanted from the cruise line, that they would find another agent.  Rather than stepping out to the cruise line with something I personally felt was unreasonable (almost like asking me to sell something I don’t believe in), I suggested they move on; in turn, they got my message and proved they were only a ball of hot air.  I personally believe in being honest, whether a customer likes it or not; don’t believe in sugar coat anything !

If the unappreciative person in your life is your boss, I think this would drive me into looking for that next job immediately.  Knowing that a person respects us, needs us, counts on us, is all a part of human nature; so if a person can’t look up to their own boss, and count on this person to be compassionate and won’t slam you under the bus, is an aspect we all want; otherwise, who would want to be on that job, even one more day !  However, before running off to find that next job, as a non-runner, I would first choose to approach the boss with how I felt; you may find, it was all a mis-understand or actually confirm, that your idea to leave, is a smart choice.

What comes to mind next, are friend’s.  Again, if they don’t appreciate your friendship, simply choose to reach out and find new friends.  Again, without confrontation, I would first approach the friend with how the relationship was making me feel; and even take the time to listen to what might be hurting them.  It’s often true, that communication can clear up situations.

Disagreements with co-workers, comes to mind next.  Again, take the time to approach them; listen to them.  If this doesn’t work, you’ll want to talk to your boss, of your desire to be placed on another team or department; if not available, learn to work with this person from a distance and keep feelings out of getting the job done; or if too difficult, then seek out another job.

Family and in-laws.  Many folks repeat the statement, you can’t pick nor change your family.  Though this may be true, and with family being much closer persons, friction or odds, may not easily resolve with basic communication.  Just to keep your sanity and composure, like I’ve had to decide, you may just clearly need to opt in spending minimal time together.  What you don’t want to do, is subject yourself, just for the sake of the fact, that it’s family.  And if possible, as an individual or a team player, seek professional help with a mediator, therapist, counselor or coach.