Is it truly love ? Is it actually control ? Is there a fine line or is there specifically a distinct difference ?

"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." Robert Frost.

Love … An emotion, most humans hope to experience, acquire, participate in, and share with a beloved partner !

Sadly, not all love is created equal. And not all persons experience, nor truly give, the literal definition of love (see below) !

More often than less, the word love is used in a different content than intended; seriously misused.
I love you, but I (want, expect, etc)…
I love you, if I (get, know, etc) …
I love you, when I (know, hear, etc)…

When love carries stipulations or carries the word “I”, then it’s really only about or FBO that person who is making “their” statement of love.  Notice I said their statement.

As mentioned in the definitions below, love is meant to be more than just statements. It’s about positive emotions and inner feelings; it’s about giving and being unselfish; it’s about wanting the most for that person in your life; no harm. It’s about being understanding; open-minded. It’s about giving of YOU; without rules/stipulations !

When love takes another route, engages in a different definition, offers stipulations, or you find you have to walk on “egg-shells” to even keep peace around your partner, you most certainly have choice ! Either stay in denial that this is love or make a conscious effort in choosing to educate and help yourself.

The questions are (whether it be your or a friend):
* Are you alert to the difference between love versus the “statement of” ?
* Do you feel love or loved with your partners choice of expressing love ?
* Do you know the clues of “control” to listen for ?
* How’s your self esteem ?
* Do you desire to be true to yourself in what you’re “actually receiving” in your relationship ?
* Are you actually in denial ? Make excuses for your partner ?
* Are you aware, control is a form of abuse ?
* Did you know, in many cases of verbal abuse, it can eventually lead to physical abuse if you’re not walking that fine egg-shell as your partner expects ?

If you’re somehow unaware, please know, verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse (another topic; another day) !

In my marriage at age 18, though I was fortunate to not have received the verbal abuse that many live in, daily, with their partners, he most definitely DID NOT spare me from the physical abuse. Actually, I stayed too long; 3 months; I finally got that courage and ran (returned home to LYH, from Alaska) !

Are you in a verbal abusive relationship ? Controlled relationship ?
How will you choose to cope ? To continue ? Are you in denial ? Are you depriving yourself of peace you could be living  ?

Bing and Wikipedia’s definition of Love (for another):* “Intense feeling of positive emotion toward, or enjoyment of, a person
* Feel tender affection for somebody
* Feel desire for somebody
* Show kindness to somebody”.
* An emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment
* Representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection
* The unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".

Bing and Definition.com, definition for control”* “To exercise power or authority over something
* To limit or restrict somebody or something; reign, rule
* Dominate; command
* To hold in check; curb: to control one's emotions.
* To test or verify
* To test or verify
* To check or regulate or restraint; bridle, constrain”


What is your definition of love ? Do you have clues you can share, in helping others know it’s control over love ?
Thank you.