Thursday, July 26, 2012

Are you aware of the worst form of "abuse" ! Are YOU in tune, for the benefit of your friends and family ?



This article is only in reference to abusive relationships with people.


Is someone you love being abused ?  Is it physical or verbal abuse ? Are these concepts equal (the same thing) ? 


If you say, No, to equal. Is that because physical is where one hits another with their hand or an object and verbal is with ones mouth (or maybe in writing) ?  So technically, for some, they are not at all, one in the same ?
a·buse - - maltreatment: the physical, psychological, or sexual maltreatment of a person.

According to Bing, on the web, ABUSE is seemingly treated equal. It lists the different kinds of abuse, yet, nowhere in the definition, does it state that there are any variations !



Usually, when I bring up the topic of abuse, or say, “Did you know so-n-so is being abused ?”, most automatically, the response is, “oh my gosh, I didn’t know so-n-so was hitting them; that‘s awful and wrong”. Sadly, I seldom get this same reaction when I put the word “verbal” in front of “abuse”.

Just last month, I had this conversation with my mother. When I stated that so-n-so has been abusing so-n-so, she too said, “You can’t be telling me so-n-so hit so-n-so !”. I said, “No, I didn’t say physical contact”, and she actually calmed down, as if abuse is ok if not physical contact. A few minutes later, I used the word “abuse” again, and she returned to the overly shocking state ! Abuse is abuse is abuse is abuse !


Per Wikipedia, Verbal abuse is best described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person.

According to USLegal.com, Verbal abuse is the use of words to cause harm to the person being spoken to. It is difficult to define and may take many forms. Similarly, the harm caused is often difficult to measure. The most commonly understood form is name-calling. Verbal abuse may consist of shouting, insulting, intimidating, threatening, shaming, demeaning, or derogatory language, among other forms of communication.

You probably agree, the second definition paints a clearer picture of verbal abuse. And though there may be no physical contact with verbal abuse, allow me to take your thoughts into a different twist, for the remainder of this article.


However, first, if you are a person who does not believe in physical abuse, then you probably agree with many, that physical abuse is just terrible ? Can you just visualize physical abuse happening to you, or maybe watching this type behavior on TV and how, even to another person, it makes you currently, even this moment, feel !

In thinking of a real situation now, how would seeing physical abuse make you feel ? Maybe you cringe ? Get angered ? Feel empathy for that person ?


Thinking back, you may have also witnessed, among family and friends, or even from or to yourself, verbal abuse. How did this make you feel, even now ? Embarrassed. Uneasy.


My question to you, do you feel equally the same way, when it’s physical abuse versus verbal abuse ?

No matter whether you felt differently or not, as described in the definition above, physical and verbal abuse is equal. Therefore, if you felt the same, you naturally should !

My next query … How do you personally react when you see someone physically abuse another ? Maybe you opt to subject yourself to harm and try to stop it, or maybe just lash out, at that person, in hopes they will stop ?

What about … When you hear verbal abuse ?


Since physical and verbal abuse are equal, when you hear someone verbally abusing someone, it is TOTALLY THE SAME, as if that person is physically beating that person right in front of your eyes (ears). And ignoring it can actually be noted as enabling or condoning that person.

From Webster, “enabling” is to provide with the means or opportunity !
From Bing, “condoning” is willing to overlook something.


Respectfully and logically, I am not suggestion you get anywhere near involvement into someone’s battle. Best call for back up or help ! Or even when the are calm, passing your opinion.


However, if nothing more, I am suggesting “indirectly involvement” ! The next time you hear verbal abuse, that you choose to reach a little deeper into your mind, and visualize, this person being physically beat ! And this, will actually help in seeing and feeling verbal abuse with equality and give justice where it is most certainly due !






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