Why do folks cheat on their partner ?

Often, folks who are going through heart ache, ask me this questions.

 

I found this online.  “Truth about deception”.

After years of study, it basically says, there are two related explanations.  One, we’ve heard over and over, “People claim they are not happy so they look for love and affection elsewhere”.  The second reason looks more into human nature, “why is being faithful to a spouse so difficult for many people to do”.

Find these other topics in the below article:

•coming to grips with infidelity

•making the decision to cheat

•role of sexual desire

•who is likely to cheat  (specifically look at this one)

•how to prevent infidelity (know, people who are happily married are less likely to cheat)

http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/cheating-and-infidelity/why-people-cheat.html

 

From Vivian.

From listening to folks, many think it’s all natural to be married.  It can be, if you have that “automatic” type personality and true goals of marriage.  However, on the other hand, many folks do not.

Marriage is something you have to pay full attention to, just like your job !  And folks who do not, or take it all for granted, run the risk of not receiving the full value and reason for marriage !

Marriage is 110% or 200%, and it has to be from both parties.  Meaning, before you ever consider getting married, you need to decide, how much devotion you will put into it, as well as know, how your partner feels.  Cause you could choose to give it your all, and your partner does not.  So these are actually our first mistakes in choosing marriage.

There is no “I” in TEAM !  I’m not saying you can’t take out some time for yourself or they can’t.  But before you do, you need to be sure, your partner has been satisfied !

Many folks loose the closeness in marriage after being married for awhile.  This is the next mistake.  Everyday, you need to get up, and act like you’ve just met this person or just began this relationship.  But again, it takes two !

As mentioned above in the article, there are many reason partners choose to cheat.  Though this is their decision, you can help in controlling this, like the article says.  But first, hopefully you have chosen the right partner; and secondly, remember, that neither of you can afford to “not” give that marriage the percentage it deserves !

In essence, it’s like having another job.  And folks who give their job their all, need to also, give their marriage their all.  Everyday !

You give your all to your kids right ? You don't want anything hurting them. Then why not your spouse !

And if you have backsliden, in not giving your marriage it’s all, then today, needs to be a new beginning if you ever think your relationship will survive.

STOP thinking the other person needs to change.  The only person you can change is YOU !  The only person you are accountable for, is you !  And even if this person could use a lot of changing, if you change, they too, can often automatically change, from your change !

So get up off the couch.  Unless you are spending quality time with your partner, then the couch does you no good !  STOP using the words, "I Love you" and prove it; action !  Matter of fact, don't use those words for a week, and show it !  Anyone, and I mean anyone, can say I love you; but only you can prove it; by actions !

 

And, get some good books on changing you ! 

I'm not suggesting its your fault.  I am only suggesting, that it's your responsibility to prove your love through action and not words !  And don't expect the other person to change or do better if you are not being the best you can be.  If you can't give yourself an A+, then, there's some improvement that you can work on.

If you want to know where to begin this change, "think of things your partner has told you, that they don't like about you ".  Cause maybe you can't see yourself !  Besides, whether you are doing what they are saying or not, "this is how they feel".  And unless you change how they "feel", the relationship will not change !

Don’t put this off another day !  And even consider therapy or counseling or a non-biased ear, towards helping you !

And if you’re not willing to change, then choose to get out, before you, or they, do something that everyone will regret !  That's part of your responsibility too !

One more note, "grass is not greener on the other side".  If you can't get along with this one, what the heck makes you think you can make it with another.  Cause unless you change or learn to choose the right type of partners, the next one, will have you in the same "rocky boat" !  And if not the same rocky boat, a boat that could cause you drowning in your own sorrows, worse than they are today !

Good luck.  I wish you a happy marriage.  Because you can have that !